Oh, how I love non-linear side-scrollers. Super Metroid, Metroidvania, and everything in between. If it features action, adventure, exploration, upgrades, backtracking, slick 2D visuals, and a map that is ready to be explored to 102%, I am all over it. It's no surprise then, that I was so excited to get my hands on Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, a downloadable title that features all of the above with one stipulation: you have full 360-degree control of a spaceship and its weaponry!
I must admit, titles where the player is given the powers of a God and asked to shape the world how he or she sees fit were never compelling to me, regardless of how incredible the premise sounds. In what feels like the first game in which I play the part of the Almighty since I've become a mature gamer, I decided to give From Dust a Godly go of it. Does its foundation hold up to the heavy expectations heaped upon it, or is this one wiped away by a tsunami?
The Gundam series of anime was not one of the first stepping stones down my path of otaku, but it was one of the largest. It was a boon for housing many of the things I love: giant robots, high technology, futuristic weapons, outer space, and in some scenarios, powerful characters and a strong story. It's only logical that I would be drawn to a title that plays out the Gundam universe, be it skinned over Dynasty Warriors or otherwise. After enjoying the first entry in the series and skipping the second, does Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 3 have enough Minovsky particles to keep my interest bolstered?
Bonus: Win a copy of Dynasty Warriors: Gundam 3 for PlayStation 3! Details below!
Two years after the release of 2009s red-hot 'Splosion Man comes a slender female with all of the 'splosive ability of her predecessor. Aptly titled Ms. 'Splosion Man, this bundle of erratic pink kinetic energy has most of 'Splosion Man's old tricks, but brings some new ones to the table as well. Is a coat of feminine paint and a pair of new shoes enough to make Ms. 'Splosion Man feel like a brand new experience? Your move, Unreal.
Overview Let me get this out of the way immediately: Ms. 'Splosion Man is not a game targeted toward females. Don't be fooled by the overwhelming amount of hot pink hearts and pastel colored stars. This game will kick your ass across its +60 stages if you don't bring your A-game, be you a miss or a mister.
Gameplay Not much has changed since 2009. You move with the analog or directional pad, and 'splode with pretty much any other button on your controller. You're still allotted three 'splodes before you gas out and are forced to recharge, so there is a bit of thinking in play as you ration your 'splodes to get you past any given obstacle. Explosive barrels litter the Big Science facilities, a 'splode on one of these will not only help you to reach your destination, but also refresh your 'splosive abilitites so the little lady can continue to burst her heart out.
This game is hard, folks. I'd like to consider myself an able-minded gamer, as I tend to get through any challenge that's thrown at me with relative ease, and make it look good in the process. There were some stages in Ms. 'Splosion Man that the designers deemed as 5-6 minute par times, where I took close to 18 minutes to complete. That's a lot of dying! In comparison to a platformer like Super Meat Boy that requires lightning fast twitch reflexes, Ms. 'Splosion Man requires some of that, along with memorization. Coupled with the rarity of checkpoints, you really don't want to die. But you will, and often. After several attempts, I'd finally luck my way through a tricky section of platforming, only to make a stupid mistake shortly after, and have to do the whole thing all over again. Frustrating.
If you happen to get through the stages quickly and safely, Ms. 'Splosion Man is rewarding, and looks good in the process. There are a variety of ways to get around aside from plain old 'sploding: conveyor belts, light bridges, ziplines, flying Jetsons cars, exploding barrels, and rotund women. Options galore! Much of the game is quite linear as you would expect, however there are branching paths in many of the levels which will either net you collectables (SHOES!) or a level exit off the beaten path.
After you've spent the required time polishing off the single player portion of the game, get your multiplayer on. You can play with up to three other lady 'sploders, either online, off, or bring your offline friends with you to create a full party on Xbox LIVE. Multiplayer offers a wealth of new stages with tricky challenges crafted specifically for three or four players. If you're picking up players online, it may be difficult to find a good team of focused ladies, but if you do, things get poppin'. You can also purchase "2 Girls 1 Controller" from the game's store using credits accumulated during gameplay. This allows you to control two misses, one with each analog stick. A healthy challenge for even the most seasoned 'sploder. This mode would probably be much fun for two people as well, each with a half-controller, 'sploding a whole lot and probably dying even more. The crafty gamer will work their girlfriend and a bottle of vodka into 2 Girls 1 Controller somehow.
Art Design The bounty of Ms. 'Splosion Man's animations are as enthralling as the lady herself. Her movements range from a 'twinkletoes' move to a flat-footed ice skate. Come to a halt at any time and be entertained by the variety of dances the gal busts out, everything from the Macarena to the Dougie. This chick would definitely serve me on the dance floor.
The stages are very well designed. They're a good balance between length and variety; you wont often see the same challenges more than once. On more than a few occassions, I did manage to lose the bright pink firecracker, as tough as that sounds. Sometimes the camera pans out, the depth of field effect is at max, and Big Science buffoons come crashing into your fourth wall, all at the same time! I'm sure it's all part of the plan, to give the player fits while attempting to breeze through each stage, but it's expletive inciting to die due to distraction as opposed to death from your own mistakes.
Sound Design The missus is absolutely hilarious during the course of the game. She's a cache of pop culture references, singing the hits from TLC, Madonna, Beyonce and more. And when she's not 'sploding into karaoke, she could be quoting one of many Schwarzenegger films. It's a riot just listening to her babble references with no rhyme or reason, however these highly specific jokes may be wasted on younger or less pop-centric gamers. Hearing her ramble about shoe sales to her imaginary girlfriends, however, is something we can all appreciate.
Best.
The music of Ms. 'Splosion Man is a pleasure to listen to. Each world has its own stage music, which is just catchy enough to not have you wanting to shoot yourself in the face after listening to it 20+ times per world. Then there's the ukelele driven Donuts Song you're greeted with upon pausing the game, held over from the original 'Splosion Man. This is easily the best track in the game, again. It just doesn't get old. After playing (and frequently pausing) for a few hours, I spent my night on the town torturing friends with the highly addictive lyrics of "everybody loves donuts, I know I do". Solid gold, man.
Conclusion For the most part, Ms. 'Splosion Man is more or less 'Splosion Man with a few added bells and whistles. There ain't nothing wrong with that, as it's still a blast to play, and a bitch to complete. At 800MSP, Ms. 'Splosion Man is money well spent for platforming fans.
Buy it: If you like platforming, have a pop-culture fueled sense of humor, enjoy a challenge Don't buy it: If you're easily frustrated, are too manly for the color pink The Score: 7 outta 10 Blasters!
Have you ever wondered how much action can be crammed into 30 seconds of gameplay? If so, Marvelous Entertainment has you covered, with the belief that a half-minute is more than enough time for an enjoyable RPG experience. Say hello to Half-Minute Hero: Super Mega Neo Climax, but be quick about it!
Since the release of L.A. Noire two weeks ago, people have been constantly asking me what I think of the game, and where my review is. L.A. Noire is a vast universe of exploration and interrogation that I needed to play in full before even attempting to put my thoughts together on paper. With all there is to see and do, you can easily lose yourself for 40 hours. So the review is a little behind schedule, but to make up for it, our friends at Rockstar have given us some free stuff to give away. Read on to find out if L.A. Noire is worthy of your time, and to win free shit!
Brinkis a game that I've been waiting to spend some extended time with. I'm talking about having the itch; sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, mumbling incoherently, and scratching my neck. Something about a fast-paced arcade shooter that puts heavy emphasis on parkour does it for me. The game impressed in short preview sessions, and was heavily marketed to give itself a nice pre-release buzz, though it seems as if some quality assurance blues put a damper on Brink's attempt at revolutionizing the genre.
Every once in a while, an idea comes along that makes you ask "How has this never been done before?" Though the idea of bullet-hell combined with a 'polarity' system was very successfully implemented in the cult hit Ikaruga, the idea was hardly heard from again, until Outland.
To be frank, I haven't cared about Mortal Kombat in a long time. The last game in the series I had in heavy rotation was the very underrated Mortal Kombat: Shaolin Monks, and Mortal Kombat Trilogy before that. There was a certain je ne sais quoi missing from most of the sequels that followed the original trilogy, which ultimately led to a decline of interest. So why does the latest entry in the series, titled simply Mortal Kombat, inspire more thoughts of combos and fatalities than the past 4 or 5 installments combined? Could be because not only does this title kick ass, it rips your head off and splits your torso into five easy pieces.
The original Portal seemed to have materialized from emptiness, bundled as an extra in The Orange Box, almost feeling as more of a throw in than anything else. I thank my lucky stars that both critics and consumers enjoyed the game as much as I did, or else we would not have Portal 2. The second coming has been fleshed out and fully realized as a stand alone game, rife of comedy that is as dark as it is hilarious, puzzles that are simultaneously confounding and child's play, and some of the best writing I've seen in a game in a long, long time.
Monday, August 8, 2011 at 12:22PM 
