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Entries in reviews (70)

Monday
May142012

The Walking Dead: Episode 1: Short, Sweet Drama (+ Giveaway)


Zombies are dead. Well of course, they're reanimated corpses, what else would they be? Alright, let's take this from the top then. The zombie genre is dead. These days, anything starring the dead risen is laughably late to the party or trying to desperately cling to the waning corpse rush of the past few years. I tend to avoid zombie-centric media at all costs, save for a few exceptions, such as The Walking Dead. Surprisingly, I wasn't all too excited to play the game - which is based in the world of one of my favorite TV series - mostly because I'm no particular fan of point-and-click adventures. However, when a review code for The Walking Dead: Episode 1 landed in my lap, I couldn't let it go unplayed, and I am very happy with the end result.

Hit the jump to find out how you can win your very own copy of The Walking Dead: Episode 1!

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Monday
May072012

Ninja Gaiden III: Dynasty Warriors Hayabusa


After having such a good time with the recent reboot of Ninja Gaiden and Ninja Gaiden II, I was sort of looking forward to Ninja Gaiden III. Tomonobu Itagaki was cast out, Metroid: Other M fell flat on its face, yet Team Ninja soldiered on with the latest Ninja Gaiden entry. The odds were stacked against this title before development even begun. Whereas past games in the series focused on gore, difficulty, and obscenely large boobs, the third put an increased focus on Hayabusa's thoughts and feelings. I don't mind games that expose a character's psyche, however if not well done, the story becomes as appetizing as raw chicken. The same mistake made by Metroid: Other M, but no one learns, do they? Even after IGN's infamous 3/10 rating on release day, I held on to a shred of hope and purchased the game the following week. What a mistake.

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Monday
Apr232012

Fez: A Twisted Puzzle-Platform Experience

Fez had been just a few weeks from release for well over 5 years by a development team that a Middle Eastern thief could count on one hand. The man behind Fez has built quite a bit of hype for his labor of love, from an appearance in Indie Game: The Movie, to questionable comments made regarding the Japanese game industry and gamers in general - Phil Fish has created some press for himself and his creation. What I think of the man is of little concern at this point, so let me tell you about his game! Fez has you control Gomez, a cutesy StayPuft looking creature who has come of age and inherited a timeless knowledge and power from his village elder. It's all summarized like so: reality is perception. Perception is subjective. It's Gomez time!

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Monday
Mar262012

Sine Mora: A Shooter Darkly


Shoot 'em ups are one of the most tried and true genres in the gaming world, tracing their roots back to a period that I can hardly even remember, and I ain't no youngin'. These games, as simplistic as they tend to be, oft times offer intense action and demand hand-eye coordination that few other genres do. One of the reasons why I'm still a loyalist, and why rare gems like Sine Mora have a chance to exist.

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Friday
Mar022012

Shank 2: A Cut Below the First


Last year, Shank crept up on me as a wicked little downloadable title about a revenge fueled killer with a penchant for style. A year later, the understandable success of the original has spawned Shank 2, a delicious yet familiar romp around a lovely, stylized 2D world. Are there enough additions to set the sequel apart from the first?

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Saturday
Feb112012

Soul Calibur V: Creating a Solid Fighter


Soul Calibur IV is one of the only non-classic fighting games that I was playing as recently as late 2011 - 3 years after its release. Wait, does that make it a classic? Er, well instead of splitting grey hairs, let's get back to the matter at hand. Soul Calibur V has supplanted its predecessor, but how much time should you invest in this one, if any?

Soul Calibur V is set 17 years after the conclusion of the fourth. The old Nightmare has been defeated, and the Soul Edge has chosen a new master, much like the Soul Calibur has chosen one other than the ageless beast, Siegfried. The story follows the adventure of Sophitia's offspring, Patroklos and Pyrrha, as they quest against the Edge in the name of the Calibur, and in the name of revenge.

Ezio is immediately the most fitting bonus character added to a Soul Calibur title

Put simply, the story mode is atrocious. The tale is blandly told with voices layered over black-on-parchment sketches that aren't even fit for concept art. There's some sort of world map to make it seem like the player has a destination and purpose, though there is no real reason for it, the battles move forward very linearly. Every now and then the player is rewarded with a cut-scene for their hard work, which seems like more of a thrown bone than anything else. Fortunately, the fight mechanics are tight and tuned, and the battles hot and heavy.

The game has drastically changed in many ways, except for perhaps Ivy's bust size. Gone are many of the characters known and loved by the series' fan base, replaced with alternates of similar styles. Some old favorites stand the test of time, others are gone completely. Most notably, Kilik is replaced by a younger Kali Yuga disciple, Xiba. Though Kilik makes a special appearance as a hidden character, he is without pole arm, and instead uses the weapon shifting style of his mentor, the Edge Master. The complete omission of my all-time favorite style, that of Hwang/Assassin/Yun Seong is what really hurts most.

Mitsurugi remains, because the grizzled Japanese samurai is irreplaceable

Questionable design choices aside, I'm still captured by the combat. In my arcade adventures and versus violence, I grit teeth, shouted at the screen, and attempted to snap my controller on quite a few occasions. Mostly to clean, close battles as opposed to computer cheese and frustrating controls. The fighters are responsive to input commands and combos, as tricky as they are. The biggest change is perhaps the ease of firing off Critical Edge 'super' moves. Whereas they previously required a bit of skill and a bit of chance to open the window for a Critical Finish, now all you need is a full Critical Edge gauge and, boom, instant gratification at the expense of your opponent's life. As with many true 3D brawlers, command sequences are king and memorization is the queen, so the uninitiated should not expect to be pro from the go. Even with an inhumane amount of hours logged in SC4, it still took me some time to reacquaint myself with SC5's action. Button-masher beware!

My excitement for Soul Calibur V lie directly tied to the revamped character creation tools, the very thing that kept me locked on Soul Calibur IV for so long. This time around the tools do not disappoint, with the ability to add numerous patterns to clothing, position pre-made labels, and tack on extra bits of equipment just about anywhere on your characters person. Make yourself and your friends, make your favorite movie stars, hell, even make fighters from other games. Just about anything is possible. The selection of faces leaves a bit to be desired, but the other customization options are so robust, I'm pretty sure the avid creator will not mind too much. Unfortunately, back is the limit of 50 characters, which I probably shouldn't be bitching about, but here I am doing it anyway. Creation is as addictive as huffing spray paint, so if you're anything like me you'll hit that 50 character limit in no time flat.

Ronald McDonald, created by the boys at Japanese blog Esuteru

Offline modes are a bit limited, with the usual story, arcade, training, and versus fares. Online multiplayer on the other hand, has quite a few interesting option for the brave digital warrior. Player matches allow you to jump in a room of up to 8 people, with rotating battles where the winner stays on, and all others become a voyeur. You can voice and text chat with everyone else in the room, so be sure you cheer against the guy who just kicked your ass. Ranked matches pit you one-on-one, where victory leads to a load of player points for increasing your rank, and a loss nets you comparatively less. The most interesting online mode is probably Global Colosseo, where you can choose one of an assortment of regional lobbies, which house dozens of fighters. Once settled, you can see an overview of all players in the coliseum, and from there you select a specific player to battle, or drop your name into a digital hat, letting the system match you up against a random who has done the same. It's a neat take on instant action, and probably the mode I enjoyed most, since I rarely had to wait to take on my next opponent, who most times was a created character that looked no where as lovingly detailed as my own.

The story of Soul Calibur V doesn't make much sense, nor does it need to. The engine is tight, the action is smooth and deliberately paced, beneficial of those who train themselves to be the best, rather than button mashing. While series fans may be rebuffed at the exclusion of some old favorites - give me Hwang/Yun Seong as DLC! - the new additions fill the gaps well enough. If you're a crafty creator, and love going to war with the models of your machination, Soul Calibur V's character creation is second only to wrestling games in the fighting genre. It's enough to keep me entranced, and I feel is a fine 60 bucks spent, especially if you're playing with a group of friends or constantly hitting the online stage.

The Score: 8 outta 10 Blasters!

Wednesday
Jan252012

Dustforce: Sweep the Ledge, Johnny


The Independent game scene is a frequent mess, but here is Dustforce to clean things up in this early part of 2012. Half tricky platformer and half high-school janitor, Dustforce has the allure of simplicity skinned over a core of wicked difficulty by way of its demand for perfection. Wanna know why you would play a game about cleaning?

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Wednesday
Jan112012

Abobo's Big Adventure is Bald Brown Badassery

Abobo has landed and he is PISSED!

Abobo's Big Adventure is a good 2-3 hours of old-fashioned NES greatness. If you were a gamer in the 80s or 90s you should not miss this homage to classic gaming and culture of decades past. Abobo throws in a little bit of everything that made the Nintendo such a killer get back in the day: Double Dragon, Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, Mike Tyson's Punch Out, etc. Respect is paid everywhere and it never gets old. Except perhaps the Balloon Fight stage, that shit sucked. Everything else though is thoroughly on point! 

How can I sum up a game that is full of hilarious what-the-fuck moments? With the clip below, which not only made me el-oh-el, but also forced me to shout "Oh shit!" Yes, it's that good. With such a wide variety of jovial insanity to be found in Abobo's Big Adventure, I wonder which scene will make you comically shoot milk from your nostrils?

Abobo's Big Adventure is free to play and runs in your web browser. If you have some time to spend, I don't know why you're not playing this game. You should have stopped reading this boring ass article three paragraphs ago and unleashed some shirtless brown fury on Kung Fu Huggers. 

Sunday
Jan012012

Then and Now: The Retail Games of 2011


As we venture into the expansive unknown of 2012, we should take time to look back and reflect on all that was 2011; friends, family, lovers, experiences, and the games! As the $60 titles of yesteryear begin to fall in price, I think this is a good time for an overview on some of the highlights and lowlights of the year. There are many excellent games that I have not had the pleasure of playing - Arkham City, Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine - and many others I had no desire to play - Battle Gears of Duty 3 - so please keep in mind this list compiles what I have gotten extensive time with. With many a clearance sale either upon us or coming soon, let me tell you what to use yo' mama's credit card on!

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Friday
Nov182011

Cats Aren't Very Good at Go Vacation

Written by Colby Sites

As a crazy cat man gentleman living alone with two felines, a game like Go Vacation is an odd choice. You see, kitties are notorious for having neither thumbs nor attention spans for video games. Despite this egregious setback, we embarked on our journey to Kawawii Island to let the vacation begin.

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