Fez had been just a few weeks from release for well over 5 years by a development team that a Middle Eastern thief could count on one hand. The man behind Fez has built quite a bit of hype for his labor of love, from an appearance in Indie Game: The Movie, to questionable comments made regarding the Japanese game industry and gamers in general - Phil Fish has created some press for himself and his creation. What I think of the man is of little concern at this point, so let me tell you about his game! Fez has you control Gomez, a cutesy StayPuft looking creature who has come of age and inherited a timeless knowledge and power from his village elder. It's all summarized like so: reality is perception. Perception is subjective. It's Gomez time!
Kratos striking his best Jesus Christ Pose on the (unfinalized) box art of God of War: Ascension
I was not an early adopter of the PlayStation 3. In fact, to this day I still favor Xbox 360 over Station Play The Third. There is a slim chance that I may not even own a PS3 had it not been for God of War 3. So compelled by the first two entries of the series, I promptly went down to my local GameStop (*shudder*) and purchased $325 worth of Sony, along with God of War Collection and God of War 3 on its day of release. Kratos literally has me by the balls, a move I would not put past him when engaged in battle.
So here comes God of War: Ascension. Those of you who played God of War 3 to completion now may be wondering: wtfmate? Kratos' story should be over, but there is no way that Sony lets this moneymaker go silently into the night. What better way to "continue" the story without ruining it all than by creating a prequel. A prequel in which Kratos is an unstoppable Spartan general? A prequel in which players can create their own Spartan and take him into war against other created warriors? THIS.. IS.. A GOOD IDEAAAAA!! Don't mind me, I'm just bloggin' y'all.
Be sure to check PlayStation.Blog on Monday April 30 for a bunch of developer-selected user-submitted questions about God of War: Ascension. What do y'all think about another God of War? Money grab, or i it really what PS3 owners want?
Disclaimer: The following trailer contains absolutely no gameplay footage. Those of you who will view this clip and immediately write it off for containing no gameplay should save some time and not even bother. Me? I'm just about ready to cream over this shit.
I'm a huge fan of just about anything that has Bethesda's name on it, either Softworks or Game Studios. In fact, perhaps the only action of theirs I disagreed with in recent memory was the beef with Notch, but that's beside the point. I always enjoy Bethesda's creations and publishings, and Dishonored ain't no different. What would you say about a game that mixes Half Life, Assassin's Creed, Thief, and BioShock? I'd say best game evar! Too soon?
In all seriousness and without jumping to nonsensical conclusions, Dishonored has the style, elements, and pedigree to open the eyes of the blind, turn water to wine, and blow some motherfucking minds. New IPs are always exciting, even moreso when they're not a run-of-the-mill first person shooter, which this appears not to be. I'm excited, and you should be too.
One of the best PC exclusive series is finally making its way to consoles. On April 17, The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings Enhanced Edition releases for Xbox 360 and PC, bringing extra content to last year's cult hit by CD Projekt Red. While it's been said you need not play The Witcher to understand the plot of this sequel, we all know that's a crock; to take the most out of any decent sequel you need to be hip to the happenings of the first. Consider yourself covered, with this summary of The Witcher.
It's a hell of a lot of information to process, but if you watch it two or three times, I'm sure some of it will stick. This is required watching for a brand new audience of gamers now that Micro$oft has shelled out the cash to bring the latest entry in the series to its box o' hugs. I've been trying to find reasons to play The Witcher 2, but not without knowing the story which precedes it. Well, now I have no excuse to take control of Gerelt and behead the living life out of some fools.
Side Note: I've never really been a fan of the whole motion comic deal, but CD Projekt Red is doing it right with this here joint. Very nicely put together. I couldn't watch it without thinking of an epic metal accompaniment, so I went ahead and did all the work for you. You're welcome.
Remember that review I did a way back in the olden day about Ms. 'Splosion Man, a 2D platformer I really liked? Of course you do, because everything I write is as memorable as your first kiss in grade school (or college, whatever). It was a game I thoroughly enjoyed playing through, though it was available only to the limited audience of 360 owners. Twisted Pixel, developers who somehow manage to incite knee-slapping laughter from me time and time again, have now announced that their crazy pink lady of pure energy will be 'sploding on to PC, iOS and Windows Phone.
I hate most platformers on iOS like America hates Electronic Arts, however I have a good feeling about Ms. 'Splosion Man. The mechanics are less about twitch reflex on the controls and more about proper timing on your 'splodes. Controlling the mademoiselle with the undoubtedly horrid virtual control will take some getting used to, however clicking anywhere to 'splode will be a breeze. With the power to 'splode anywhere you go, there is no reason to not play this title, unless you own an Android phone. Buuuuuurned.
Ms. 'Splosion Man is due out for PC, iOS and Windows Phone some time this summer.
Fez creator Phil Fish has come under a rain of fire recently for some comments which sensitive gamers call unsavory. I've had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Fish, and he's a bit of a douche bag, though no more than his hipster brethren. Living in the rotten Apple, I see hundreds of people a day with their heads lodged deeper between their cheeks than Mr. Fish, and none of them have created something that looks as mind-bending as Fez, so you know what? Phil is okay in my book.
If the interwebz is any indication, many people will be avoiding Fez solely due to Phil Fish's dispostion. Present company excluded, of course. Come April 13, I will be playing this title that I have been looking forward to for ages, and I don't care if Fish hand delivers it and then punches me in my face.
Shoot 'em ups are one of the most tried and true genres in the gaming world, tracing their roots back to a period that I can hardly even remember, and I ain't no youngin'. These games, as simplistic as they tend to be, oft times offer intense action and demand hand-eye coordination that few other genres do. One of the reasons why I'm still a loyalist, and why rare gems like Sine Mora have a chance to exist.
Bethesda has today announced the availability of Skyrim update 1.5 on Steam, as an opt-in beta. What does 1.5 include, you ask? Game Jam features including ranged and magic kill cams, new melee finishing moves, and a host of bug fixes which I can't be bothered to list. Bug fixes don't get trailers, son!
For a detailed list of the bug fixes, and exact instructions on how to opt-in to the beta on Steam, check out The Elder Scrolls communty site. The update is currently not available on consoles, but will be soon.
While we're talking Skyrim, I want to take this time to share something written by OBG contributer Eric Blackwood over on his space:
So, I was doing the quest In My Time Of Need:
The barmaid at the Bannered Mare in Whiterun is apparently a fugitive noble from Hammerfell. She claims that she is on the run from assassins sent by rival houses in her homeland and needs someone to stop them before they find her.
I weighed the options of either surrendering Saadia, or saving her. I chose to save her, which led me to speaking with a Whiterun prisoner, a member the Alik'r assassin clan aiming to kill the barmaid. I go to the dungeon in Whiterun, thinking that I would have to break this guy out. I locate him and pick-pocket a key off of one of the guards. But before I decide to open the assassin's cell, I speak to him through the gate. The prisoner tells me that he will reveal his clan leader's location in exchange for my posting his bail. I figure it's less of a hassle than breaking him out so I pay the fine. I tell him he's free and he tells me where Kematu, his clan's leader, is hiding. As I'm walking away, I hear the prisoner call the guard over to explain that I had paid his fine. The guard reluctantly acknowledges but then tells him that he can't free him because he can't find his key.
I just kept walking.
The guard must have figured it out because a short time later, three hired thugs were sent to teach me a lesson. And I found a note on one of them.
I can't think of a better way to sum up Skyrim. Random perfection in its finest form. If you haven't played it yet, what the hell are you waiting for? If you have, 1.5 is a perfect excuse to get back into it and cook yourself up a new character to take advantage of the new features. I'm finally going to get around to rolling that Mage I've always wanted to disintegrate people with.
I'm on the fence about Ninja Gaiden III. I loved the first two series entries, but a lot has changed since then. Most notably, Team Ninja parting ways with head ninja, badass, and possible Yakuza boss Tomonobu Itagaki. The team's first game without Itagaki fell flat on its face, as it attempted to introduce players to a Samus Aran as a human being with feelings, instead of a ice-cold interstellar bounty hunter. Failure. So, how does Team Ninja follow that? By introducing players to Ryu Hayabusa as a human being with feelings. Hurk.
Though I'm torn due to Team Ninja's sudden fascination with human feelings, I will probably purchase Ninja Gaiden 3 anyway. Even if it doesn't live up to standards - with its casual difficulty and exposing of Ryu's conscience - first run copies of the game come packaged with a two-fighter demo of the highly anticipated Dead or Alive 5. It doesn't quite make up for the entry price, but it sure helps to cushion the blow, much like a pair of breasts.
C'mon, did you think I'd be able to write a note about Dead or Alive without mentioning female anatomy? You overestimate my maturity, friend.
Last year, Shank crept up on me as a wicked little downloadable title about a revenge fueled killer with a penchant for style. A year later, the understandable success of the original has spawned Shank 2, a delicious yet familiar romp around a lovely, stylized 2D world. Are there enough additions to set the sequel apart from the first?
Monday, April 23, 2012 at 2:33PM 
